Your Loved one with dementia may still enjoy having visitors.

To help everyone have a positive experience when visiting someone with dementia, a little advanced preparation goes a long way.

You can set visitors up for success by sharing some do’s and don’ts ahead of time and create a calm environment so your loved one can focus better.

Limit visitors to one or two people at a time. Too many people can be overwhelming.

Schedule visits for the time of day when your loved one is usually at their best.

Minimize distractions by turning off the TV or loud music and ask any non-visitors to go to another room. Send the do’s and don’ts list to your visitors ahead of time so they’ll have time to absorb the information.

DO:

• Keep your tone and body language friendly and positive.

• Make eye contact and stay at their eye level.

• Introduce yourself even if you’re sure they must know you. “Hi Grandma, I’m Joe, your grandson.”

• Speak slowly and in short sentences with only one idea per sentence, For example: “Hi Mary, I’m Jane, your friend.” Or “What a beautiful day. The sunshine is nice, isn’t it?”

• Give them extra time to speak or answer questions, don’t rush the conversation.

• Use open-ended ques- tions so there will be no right or wrong answers.

• Be ok with sitting together in silence. They may enjoy that just as much as talking.

• Follow their lead, don’t force conversation topics or activities.

• Validate their feelings. Allow them to express sadness, fear, or anger.

• Enter their reality. Go with the flow of the conversation even if they talk about things that aren’t true or don’t make sense.

• Share and discuss memories of the past. They’re more likely to remember things from long ago.

• Come prepared with an activity, like something to read out loud, a photo album to look at, or some of their favorite music to listen to.

• Give hugs, gentle touches, or massage arms or shoulders if the person gives permission and enjoys it.

DON’T:

• Speak too loudly

• Say “do you remember?” This can cause anger or embarrassment.

• Argue. If they say something that’s not correct, just let it go.

• Point out mistakes. It just makes them feel badly and doesn’t help the conversation

• Assume they don’t remember anything. Many people have moments of clarity.

• Take mean or nasty things they say personally. The disease may twist their words or make them react badly out of confusion, frustration, fear, or anger.

• Talk down to them. They aren’t children and you should show the proper respect.

• Talk about them with other people as if they’re not there.

If you are caring for a loved one and need information or assistance contact Twila Doucet, Caregiver Coordinator, at 580-234-7475 or tdoucet@ltcaenid.org