As grandparents, you usually have the benefit of interacting with your grandkids on a level that is once removed from the day-to-day responsibilities of parents.

For many, grandparenting means a weekend together every now and then, an afternoon play date, an evening babysitting, a summer vacation, or chats on the phone and email exchanges here and there.

But when life circumstances change through divorce, the death of parents, or changes to a parent’s work or school related responsibilities, it often falls to grandparents to assume full or part time responsibilities for their grandchildren.

While raising your grandchildren can be challenging it can also be rewarding.

Here are some tips:

1. Acknowledge your feelings.

The prospect of raising grandchildren is bound to trigger a range of emotions.

Positive emotions, like the love you feel for your grandchildren, the joy in seeing them learn and grow, and relief at giving them a stable environment, are easy to acknowledge.

It’s more difficult to admit to feelings such as resentment, guilt, or fear. It’s important to acknowledge and accept what you’re feeling, both positive and negative.

Don’t beat yourself up over your doubts and misgivings.

It’s only natural to feel some ambivalence about childrearing at a time when you expected your responsibilities to be dwindling.

These feeling don’t mean that you don’t love your grandchildren. You may feel stressed and overwhelmed with the added responsibility.

You may feel anger and resentment toward your child for leaving you with the responsibility of raising their child.

You may feel guilty for your child’s failure as a parent, second guessing and regretting your own mistakes when you were first parenting.

If you came to the responsibility of raising your grandchildren because of the death of their parents you will be grieving the loss of your child and the difficulties that have led to this situation.

2. Take care of yourself.

You probably weren’t expecting to be raising kids again at this stage in your life.

When you are preoccupied with the daily demands of raising grandkids, it’s easy to let your own needs fall by the wayside but taking care of yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.

You can’t be a good caretaker when you are overwhelmed, exhausted, and emotionally depleted.

In order to keep up with your grandkids, you need to be calm, centered and focused.

Looking after your own mental and physical health is how you get there.

If you don’t take care of your health, you won’t be able to take care of your grandchildren, either. Find something that relaxes you like a hobby.

Taking time for yourself is not a luxury it is a necessity.

3. Realize your grandkids will have mixed feelings too.

Moving to a new home is never easy, even in the best of circumstances.

When children are dealing with the loss of regular contact with their parents, the move is even harder.

It will take some time for your grandchildren to adjust, and in the meantime, they may act especially contrary and difficult.

If the children have suffered from emotional neglect, trauma, or abuse, those wounds will not disappear just because they are now in a safe place.

They will need time to heal.

4. Focus on creating a stable environment.

While it will take your grandkids time to adjust to their new living arrangement, there are steps you can take to make the transition easier.

Your grandchildren need to feel secure.

Children thrive in an environment that is stable and predictable.

Establish a routine. Encourage their input in their new home.

Let them help pack and unpack and arrange things in their new room as much as they are able.

Offer your time and attention.

You can be a consistent, reassuring presence for your grandkids.

Try to take time to interact with them at the beginning of the day.

5. Encourage open and honest communication.

Communicating openly and honestly with your grandchildren is one of the best things you can do to help them cope with their new situation.

It’s especially important to take the time to really listen to your grandkids in this difficult time.

They need an adult they can go to with their questions, concerns, and feelings.

Encourage your grandchildren to talk about their feelings, both good and bad.

Help your grandkids learn to identify their emotions.

It’s okay to say, I don’t know.

If you are a grandparent raising your grandchild and need help with information on available programs contact LTCA of Enid Area Agency on Aging Caregiver Coordinator Twila Doucet at 580-234-7475 or tdoucet@ ltcaenid.org.