For the last few months I’ve been on an English muffin kick for breakfast every morning. Saturday was no exception, but I was too tired the night before to bring in the groceries, and was out of muffins.

The car keys were still in my pajama jogging pants so I pushed the button, and opened the hatch. That’s when I noticed Dr Pepper packs and grocery bags were tossed around.

Must have taken the corners too fast, I thought, then picked up a 20-pack of pop that looked as if it had been through a war.

The corner on a muffin package was also ripped open.

The bag boy must have been too rough, I decided, then noticed part of the muffin was missing.

The other muffin package was also torn open, and a package of chocolate chip cookies was ripped open. Two half-eaten cookies fell out.

Quick study that I am decided there was something still inside that had eaten my cookies.

I backed away to let whatever it was get out, then opened the car doors as a further incentive for whatever it was.

When nothing climbed or crawled out, and the only growling was my stomach, I trashed the half-eaten food.

Just when I found an untouched cookie package a neighbor from across the street ran over.

He’d noticed there was a pack of Dr Pepper in my driveway, and the trunk was partially open. He said animals had gotten in there overnight, but he’d closed it up so they couldn’t get back in.

“We thought you were still asleep this morning, and we didn’t want to wake you,” Josh said. “I wanted to catch you before you saw it because I didn’t want you to be afraid something was going to jump out at you while you were driving.”

“I don’t understand how the trunk got open,” I said. “I didn’t open it.”

“It happens all the time with my wife’s keys in her purse,” he said.

“But I always keep mine in my pocket,” I said.

That’s because Josh’s son got me help after I fell on my front porch because I used the panic button on the car keys in my pocket, and he’d heard the honking.

After that I told friends to keep their car keys on them at all times, guess I should amend that.

New warning: Don’t sleep with your car keys in your pocket. You might roll over the wrong way at night, open up your car, and lose your muffins and cookies to neighborhood pets, squirrels, birds, skunks, raccoons, coyotes, cougars, bobcats, or possibly Big Foot.