Stand up straight! Pick up your feet!

Some boys had metal taps put on the bottoms of their shoes in the 1950s. They loved the noise they’d make. The taps were loud against just-painted shiny gray school hallways.

As for us girls: we had to walk around with a book on our head so we’d stand up straight and have good posture.

Chew with your mouth closed!

If you were raised in the fifties you knew you’d better eat everything on your plate, including Momma’s five-alarm chili because Daddy liked it that way. I was allowed to use ketchup on my chili, butter on my crackers and could drink ice cold milk.  

If you didn’t clean your plate you were told about all the starving children in China.

You didn’t dare say, “Name two children!” as my husband’s son once said in the 1970s.

Close the door! Were you born in a barn?

I never said, “No I was born in a hospital,” for fear of a spanking. It was rumored that a preacher’s son once answered, “Yes, so just call me Jesus!” and was sent to military school.

Shame on you! I Taught You Better Than That!

Most boys never got close enough to freshman girls, unless we were in church. Or, if we ditched the second Sunday service, got into Jerry’s Dad’s brand new Volkswagen with Long Legs Susie and Nelson Smith in the back.

Jerry hit the brake at the first stop sign, Susie’s feet pushed the back of my seat, my head went through the windshield and shattered the glass. I was sorta stunned, but everyone was OK.

Jesus saved us from injury, but I figured Momma was going to kill me.

“What’s wrong with you?” she asked when we got in our car. “You need to have your head examined!”

We did get my head examined. Mr. Burton’s insurance required me to get an x-ray.

It was for your own good!

Years later when I wasn’t grounded anymore, I was allowed to car date.

“Tommy’s almost here,” Daddy shouted from his easy chair.

When my date wasn’t there, Daddy said, “I heard his car. He’s three blocks away.”

In Tommy’s case, that was about right.

A writer friend compared rutting calls by deer to that of boys and their loud cars since both are after girls.

Same goes for the female deer comparison: girls wear smell-good lipstick, lotions and colognes to get the attention of boys.