An Odd Bird

I have a love/hate relationship with birds. I don’t need an alarm clock or a rooster because every morning at daybreak on the roof overhead my sleeping chambers the crows convene, and a cacophony of blue jays and coveys of quail stage a track meet. It’s worse than if the heavyweight division of Weight Watchers wrestled contestants from The Biggest Loser directly above my head. I have conferred with roofing professionals about this problem but they just suggest it’s because all the shingles and tar paper on my roof are worn down to bare wood. But what would you expect from shingle salesmen? I bought a pair of ear plugs which were much cheaper but even they didn’t do the job.